budak2

they exhausted me! but i get fun :)

ti-in yang nga majok. budin malas dah nk layan. hadif tenampak pulak pini nga snap. hadif pandai ckp cina...pi beli air kat vending machine and terserempak ngn amoi, terus ckp cina konon2 nk sembang. budak yang pantang tengok amoi. yang lagi kelakarnya, hadif ternampak la pulak massege yang nga di send atas nama mohd. hanif. dengan konfiden nya, "aik, tu awat kak pini hantaq kat nama kami?" aku bingung. pikir punya pikir punya pikir... Ooo, H-A-D-I-F dengan H-A-N-I-F kan bezanya D dan N...

pini yang semangat memetik buah jambu air di depan umah sambil berangan memetik epal seperti di London :)

this is me

what i have possessed in these ten days is fat. i am getting bigger than before.

muka da bulat :)

badan pun :)

kenapa? why?

ni la keja yang ada pun time lapang. makan makan dan makan.

shu, dasat x?

hospital

i might skip the details for day 5-10 but here the summary.

we were relieved to hear that her kidney can still be used.when they run the dialysis process, they gave her antibiotic and other medicine to cure her kidney. the machine ran 24 hours non stop for about 4 days. and at the same time she started to produce some urine. however, her swallowed did not get better. that's probably because her kidneys do not 100% healed.

for 5 to 6 days i repeat the same routine, wake up, wash clothes, go to hospital (at 10.30am), eat, wait until 12.30 for visiting tok, eat, wait at 'rumah pelawat' and eat some snack until 4.30pm for the next visit until 7pm, and eat again, then sleep. all my clothes are getting smaller. not me who is getting bigger ;p

3 days ago tok opened her eyes. but her condition was really weak. she keep saying that they want to kill her. (depa nk bunuh aku..depa tu la..nk bunuh aku). i kept saying to her that the staff were not try to kill her, but they want to heal her. (depa bukan nk bunuh tok, depa nk berubat ja...) but she refused to accept my words and still with her words. (berubat apa...depa nk bunuh aku.) and she cried. her hands were not moving. same goes to her legs. the only part that moved was her face. at this day, the dialysis machine was stopped due to the increasing of her urine. the next day the hospital decided to run a scan to see her stomach condition after a week of operation. how the stomach responds towards the medicine that they given. during the scanning process, they put something into her blood. i'm not sure what it is but from what i heard, it seems like color liquid. i don't know what the function of it. and because of that, they have to dialysis her again for more 4 hours to clean back her blood. her kidney still cannot process heavy problem.

currently she have to take back the oxygen pipe to assist her breath taking rate because she's getting weak. and she still in sleep. the nurse told me as long as the oxygen pipe is in her mouth, we have to give her sleeping medicine to let her feel no pain.

the Kidney stone. looks like 'kacang' in real.



my first night with tok in ward Kenanga 4A.



after 2nd operation.



she was awake for a day.


we relieved for a while when seeing only 1 medicine was left.

they managed to stop the oxygen tube for a while. her breath was strong enough this time.

unfortunately she slept back after the scanning process 2 days ago.

the 2nd dialysis machine to clean her blood from some color liquid.

her last update that i have taken. these bags are connected into her stomach. her stomach is still released medical waste from the second operation. the medicine that the doctors gave is to clean her lower part of her stomach that was infected by leakage at her intestine. as long as she still produces these waste, she can't get better.

hospital

day 2:

I could not sleep that night. tok cannot sleep, she felt uneasy, uncomfortable, calling me the whole night, asking me to put wet towel over her head. her temperature increase a lil bit. i get worry. until the clock turn to 4 a.m, nurse and doctor came to monitor her oftenly. their expression did not please me. tok's stomach was getting bigger. her intestine got a small leak caused by the doctors when they tried to blow pressure to push a kidney stone beside her bile. unfortunately the pipe that is used did not reach her bile and stuck at the intestine and the cause a small leakage into it. as the result, air, water, virus and other things that go trough the intestine spread out and caused damage to her stomach and kidney. when her stomach was getting bigger, the doctor decide to perforate her belly, at least to let the air release. but nothing happened. after half an hour, they decided to make another operation at the stomach and fix the intestine. i was shock the moment i saw her belly was connected with a white pipe. my tears drop suddenly and she wave her hand called me. she said she was frightened. i could not do anything. i grab her hand and said nothing will happen. they just try to heal her. i told her to not worry. the most unforgettable words that i could not forget is she told herself to the nurse to let the process go smoothly. if her condition is stable after the intestine is fixed, the wish to take out the kidney stone. while the process is on going, they found out that her bile was already damaged, affected by the kidney stone. they took out the bile. i waited for about 4 hours outside the operation room and they told us that she was placed in the I.C.U. her condition was really critical because her kidney was badly damage. i could not hold my tears. all my family regret for what has happened. she told my uncle before that she does not want to come to the hospital. but they insisted.

day 3:

her condition is still the same. she's not conscious. too many wire around her. i don't know what they are. her medicine alone is 8. they were pump in at the same time. water drip both at left and right. we are only allowed to visit her twice a day. once on the noon, 1-2 pm and at the afternoon at 4.30-7pm. when she conscious, we talked to her. but she seemed high with the medicine dose that she received. one of her medicine was morphine. the most expensive drug.

day 4:

on this day, doctor decided to put dialysis machine to clean her blood and at the same time give medicine to her kidney. both her kidney were infected by virus. she didn't produce any urine for about 3 days. all her body, hand and legs were swallowed. all of us panic and don't know what to do.

hospital

tok masuk spital dah 4 ari. and today dah the fifth day. while I first arrived at hospital, the guard did not allowed me to enter the ward. too many in there she said. then i just waited outside, at the lounge outside the icu ward. later my two cousins came and they made noise. besa la budak2. then we all have to get out from that area. the guard said its not the time yet for visiting. finally i met tok during the visiting hour at 1. she looks worst. her stomach get bigger. her face is swollen. but according to what my uncle said, she looks better than before. a lot more better. my uncle already stayed there for 3 nights and he has abandon his works. then i decided to volunteer my self to stayed for last night.

day 1:
while observing tok, i noticed several things that i never seen before. i realized that one of doctor's characteristics is friendly :). a women next to tok's bed is suffered from cancer and she has no expectation about her future. she gave up. a doctor then came to her. he talked to her. in a very friendly way. she at first ignored him and until the last minute of their conversation, i heard the doctor said :
"makcik kat mana sekarg..kat rumah ka kat mana...?"
"hospital"
"saya sapa?"
"doktor ahmad."
"owh, makcik ingat no nama saya... terima kasih laa...mana ada lagi orang ingat nama saya. depa suma panggil saya doktor ja. saya terharu la."
suddenly the patient's behavior changed. she agree to follow the doctor advice for further check up. later after the brought her away, i heard the doctor said to his junior...
"can you do that?"
his junior just put a smile. but not a promise smile. its more or less a sorry smile.
"i'm sure you can do that. you have to try. its not that hard. just try to chat with them ok..."

i just smile, listening to his advise.

Navigator - Acid - Cotton

Before the break I told my friend that I want to blog back. But not about love. I would like to write about things that I found. I learn. and I observe. Last night I was just thought some fact, or maybe we can't say it is a fact, I just assume something. The moment we say want want to learn things, all observations change to be new learning. For me it happens. At least so far.

First from the GPS system in my dad's car. I found it really noisy. And I asked them to switch it off. My dad already knew the way home but he just want to show me the new GPS. Later I managed to adapt with the noisy and the noisy became my pronunciation teacher. As the non-native speaker of English, I remembered my prof. used to say we must pronounce each word correctly, until the last alphabet sounds. I kept repeating the word from the navigator. "Left" with the /t/ sound at the end. "Right" also with the /t/ sound at the end. "Roundabout" also with the same end sound. what else..."meters" with the long /i/ sound at the first syllabus (mee).

This morning I went for sauna and swimming. Alone :( . After an hour and a half I swam, the workers asked me to move to a Jacuzzi area because they wanted to clean the pool. I moved. From far i saw the man pour something into the pool. The water seems hot. It produces steam. I keep observing. When he done, i asked him "apa tu?". "Asid". And i shocked, "ha?! yeke?". He nodded. He explained that the acid use to clean the new water that they supply to the pool. They change the water everyday. Only after 3 hours then the pool can be entered. So I just stay in the Jacuzzi for the next half an hour.

After I changed, I have a good chat with the security. Her name is Kak Ti. She's new here. Before this she worked at other condo, I don't really remember what is the condo's name. Something Perdana at KL. She told me the reason why we cannot wear cotton in pool. I thought because the cloth makes us harder to swim. It increases weight and easy for us to sink. But that is not the case. Cotton actually release tiny dust and when they are together, they will stuck the system below the pool. The cost for repairing it is really expensive. That's what the security said. Now I know. I really have to get a new swim suit. For the time being, no swimming.

Gila makan = Gila bila dah gemok

Harini makan bangun2 tidoq ja abah buat nasi lemak. aku cuma just kena goreng ikan + kupas telur goreng + hidang + makan :)
then launch roti sama telur. petangnya makan keropok lekor. senjanya ada ayam golek makcik damansara mya.. sedap.

Semalam makan pulut durian. nyum3...
balik penang mau cari lagi durian. mau yang anyin~

Sebelum tu dah makan ikan bawal sweet sour. licin!

Dulu ada makan pizza kat foodcourt. then amik pasta. sebab week before tu x dapat mkn. bebai. kena mkn meat wrap ngan anep. walaupun x kena taste aritu tapi makana tu still nampak menarik. jadi makan pizza + pasta untuk balas dendam.

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Jadi sekarang bila kenang balik apa yang dah mkn...banyaknya!! patut la berat naik. huhuhu.

The real task

Last night I got an assignment from my dad to do some translation text. Its not really long yet not short. It's about 3 simple paragraphs describing about some medical stuff and I accept the task. While confronting with it, I felt like its killing me. I even can't bring it to my own language. I started worried about my skill. I tried harder and harder until I manage to produce one. But a foolish one. I laughed my self. Alone. Thinking about the task. Then I saved it. Kept it safe in my 'stolen' pendrive. And today my dad asked about it. Thank god he didn't laugh but then I had to listen to a long speech. I know now is not the time to play around and I should really work harder before I graduate.

2 weeks ago I walked around with Anep at Kino and found a book, "Tiga Kali Semingu" by Dr. Faisal Tehrani. The cover pictures two persons with so Malay looks. And a short description says "Dia pandai- dia tidak menggedik pada setiap masa- dia memilih tiga kali seminggu sahaja." That what made me decided to buy the book. I thought the description refers to the 'ustaz' who gives talk to the villagers and he choses 3 times a week, but my conclusion was wrong. Its about the girl who is a widow and desperates for a husband. The book consists of 15 short stories which I found it brings me lots of new things. Not just things. I consider it Knowledge. To all my friends, we should have one. Good for us to know our own literature.

Currently I can say that I was influenced by the author and started to read his other books, " Sebongkah Batu Di Kuala Berang".